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Shock and Br-Awe

November 18, 2009

I come from a long line of Bodacious Ta Tas.  There was my Grandma Gracie who was a Double D until the day she died at 90.  There is my Nana Mary who in her heyday was a solid D.  And then there is my mother, who at her largest was an F-cup. Seriously.

I on the other hand, have been a loyal member of the IBTC since puberty.  Genetics, where boob size was concerned, had essentially failed me. For most of my life I’ve bounced back and forth between an A- and B-cup, depending on my monthly ice cream intake with a brief upgrade to a C-cup during breastfeeding months.

But, in a shocking turn of events, I’ve come to realize I’ve been living a lie.

Here’s the story:

I needed a new black push-up bra for work.
(Wait…that came out wrong. Let’s try it again shall we?)

I needed a new black push-up bra to wear under a dress I bought for a formal, work-related event.
(Yeah, that’s better.)

There is a certain look I am trying to achieve for this event (hence the push-up), so I decided to spend the money and buy a really good bra. At a really good store. And I’m not talking about Victoria’s Secret where you get whatever 19-year-old with a tape measure and a bad attitude is available to fit you.  I went to a professional–a grown woman with quite large boobies herself, I might add, and told her my requirements.

“I want my boobs to say ‘HELL-O!'”

“Oh honey, I have just the thing.”

And she did.

In a 32D.

Yeah, that’s right. A THIRTY-TWO D!

It is the first time I have ever been correctly fitted for a bra. And it is by far the most comfortable, supportive and beautiful bra I have ever purchased.  It is also the most expensive, but considering how long I keep my bras (which is three days longer than forever), it was money well spent.

I left the store feeling enlightened and empowered.  Bigger boobs (even if only on the label) are a real confidence booster. So I encourage you all, sister friends, go out and get properly fitted.

And then join me en masse in burning our IBTC membership cards.

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