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Inconceivable

January 24, 2010

Since we’ve been married, Brent and I have talked about having a child together off and on.  We were open to the idea, but weren’t taking it too seriously for a number of reasons:

  1. We already have three children.
  2. I’m not a Fertile Turtle (or so I thought).  I was only able to conceive Monkey after months of crazy-bitch inducing hormone treatments, and I wasn’t willing to go through that again.
  3. Did I mention our three children?
  4. A fairly recent visit to my gynecologist revealed that I have “a teeny, tiny cervix” and “ain’t nothing getting up there.” Famous last words.
  5. Um, yeah…three kids already.

So alas, we thought the situation was Inconceivable.

Anyway, we “pulled the goalie” with no set expectations. Just for fun.  Just to see what would happen. But when a full year went by with no bun in the oven, I was discouraged.  Inconceivable.

I went through a brief mourning period where I would see babies (Babies!) and feel those little tugs on my heart strings, but those were quickly assuaged when Monkey and Boy! would have a demonstrative argument about who could breathe louder. The Lord.

I decided then that I would take on a more spiritual approach to the entire situation.  My philosophy was thus:  We have three beautiful, healthy, happy children.  And that’s enough.  If God blesses us with another, so be it.  If not, then we are satisfied.  We have a great life and a lot to be thankful for.

One of my favorite sayings is “God tosses a pebble before he throws a brick.” I don’t know who coined this phrase, I just heard it on Oprah a million years ago and it stuck with me.  But it always amazes me how easy it is to ignore those little pebbles.

My pebbles:

  • a missed period.
  • aching boobs (again with the boobs, does she ever stop?)
  • tired, so so tired.

My brick:

  • a pantyhose pooch.  Seriously.

I was getting dressed for a business meeting, pulling on my pantyhose when I looked in the mirror and saw it.  A bulge stretching the control top to its very limits.  And that’s when I knew.

I immediately started digging around my bathroom cabinet, knocking over bottles of hairspray and nail polish remover, searching for an old pregnancy test that I had stashed months ago. I could hear Brent downstairs on a phone call, so I decided to take the test without telling him first, not really believing.  After all, I had been here before with only negative outcomes.

When the results appeared, I was confused. One line, two lines, plus signs, minus. What does it mean if the line is really faint? I had thrown away the box, and therefore the directions months ago.  I needed a second opinion.

“What do you think of this?” I asked Brent pointing to the test stick sitting on the bathroom counter.  In hindsight, this was maybe not the best approach to take in telling my husband that I’m pregnant. I’m just saying.

“Woman! What are you trying to do to me?  We have a meeting in 15 minutes.” he said laughing and hugging me around the waist, the results obviously clear to him.

And it was in the car on the way to that meeting when all of those little pebbles started smacking me in the face.

God is blessing us.  Inconceivable.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. January 25, 2010 12:02 am

    Congratulations!!!! That sounds magical!!! 🙂

  2. TNT permalink
    February 2, 2010 9:22 am

    I think this is the best news I have heard in a long time! I am so excited for you!!! The love between you and Brent is so obvious, this is the perfect topper for your wonderful life! You have to keep me posted, I refuse to have any more kids, but I get super excited when my friends have them!! And I want to see your tiny body with a belly! Good luck! And again, CONGRATS!!! 🙂 ❤

    • Kristin Steiner permalink*
      February 2, 2010 6:04 pm

      I started to tear up when I read this. Thanks so much for the sweet words. They mean the world to me, as do you.

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