One

Dear Milo,

Today is your first birthday and I don’t want to sound cliché, but man that flew by fast.

With all the preparation and nesting that an impending mother does, you can never know truly what to expect. Babies are full of surprises. And you are no exception to this rule. There are so many things about you that are different than I thought they would be:

Your hair. You are blond. Really blond. And I am not. I was POSITIVE that you would have dark hair like me and I still can’t believe it sometimes. Daddy thinks this is quite funny and will randomly whisper in my ear “Look at the beautiful blond baby, ” just to rub it in a little. But even with your flaxen locks, you are undeniably mine—our eyes are identical.

Your name. Officially your name is Miles but it was always Daddy’s intention to call you Milo. At first I wasn’t crazy about this because there is a movie about a cat named Milo. I wasn’t thrilled about giving my child a pet’s name and we all know how I feel about cats, so I declared that I would only refer to you by your formal name. And then we brought you home and you became Buddy. I don’t know why or how this happened, but it just seems to fit. The entire family has adopted this nickname for you. The irony of this is that I actually used to have a dog named Buddy.

The kids. OMG, they love you. Your brother and sisters pretty much think you are the most awesome person in the world. They fight over you, impatiently waiting their respective turn to hold or play with you. This only relents when a poopy diaper is detected and you are quickly handed back to the nearest parent, because let’s face it, that’s not fun for anyone.

Me. You have taught me so much about myself. I am a completely different parent than I was 9 years ago. I’m more relaxed and able to enjoy babyhood in a way that first time parents simply cannot. Sometimes, when we are alone, I will sit and hold you and we will press our foreheads together while you play with my necklace or the buttons on my shirt and then you’ll rest that little blond head on my shoulder and it is my most favorite thing.

I’ve said from the beginning that you are a special blessing. And I know now what God’s plan was/is. You are a life saver. Literally. This past year has been a difficult one at Steiner Haus and you have been our family’s saving grace. Thank God for you.

And Happy Birthday Baby Boy!

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